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Hey guys!

It’s been awhile since I’ve been on to blog! Today I thought I’d share a little reason why!

My sister in law and I love to talk 😉 One day we were sitting talking and she said “we should start a podcast!” and just like that, Surviving Motherhood Podcast was born! We created Surviving Motherhood with moms in mind! However, we talk about subjects that can relate to any woman! Our goal when starting this podcast was to connect mothers and help women feel less alone! Our favorite compliment is when people listen to our podcast and send us messages saying they feel like they’ve just been out on a girls night! That’s what we want! We want you to feel less alone, feel like you have a friend, and laugh along with us! We love that people are inviting us into their homes (or cars, or work outs, or anywhere you listen!) and enjoying what we have to say! Surviving motherhood is usually safe to listen to with little ones around, and we try to warn you if it’s not an appropriate subject!

I’m leaving this blog up, and hoping to come back every once in awhile and write what’s on my heart. But in the meantime, if you’re looking for a fun, silly, girly podcast… I hope you’ll tune in to Surviving Motherhood Podcast on iTunes or anywhere you listen to your podcast! You can also find us on survivingmotherhoodpodcast.com or on Instagram @survivingmotherhoodpodcast

Thanks for all your support! And continuing guarding what God has entrusted to you!

XOXO,
Cris

I’ve been feeling the tug to blog about this for quite some time, but it didn’t seem like a popular topic in today’s society. It wasn’t until this week in bible study, a lady did a devotional on contentment that I couldn’t ignore the tug anymore. Hear me when I say, I’m ALL for the doing more movement. I absolutely think through the power of Christ and determination, we can move mountains! However, in the blog I’m simply suggesting that sometimes in our push for more, we become dissatisfied in what we are doing. In Philippians Paul is writing to the people of Philippi around 10 years after his first visit there. He is thanking them for being concerned about him, and saying that he knew they would’ve provided him in times of need if they could’ve. Then in verses 11-14 Paul writes “Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” Paul knew life both in feast and famine. The secret to both, he says, is contentment in Jesus. Maybe nothing big is happening in your world right now. Maybe you feel like everyone is doing something with more impact than you. Maybe you’re doing all you can but feel pressure that it’s not enough. Seek contentment. Seek God’s will for your life. Ask Him if it’s time for big moves or to be still.  Where you are is no accident. The mountains you’re moving are impacting someone. If you feel the call to something bigger, answer it! But if your plate is full there’s no shame in that. Being careful not to cross into complacency, Live in contentment!

If you feel like you’re not leaving a mark because you hardly ever see adults … just remember that sometimes changing diapers is still changing the world.

The other day we were at a firework show. The minute the first boom happened Lincoln (my 11-month-old) was terrified. He didn’t know what was happening to him or when it would stop. I held him close to me and whispered in his ear. We were outside, so I couldn’t take him away from noise, but I could comfort him. That was all he needed. As soon as he knew that he wasn’t alone, and that someone who loved him was holding him, he was calm and quiet. Occasionally he would start to get a little nervous, but I would whisper to him that he was ok and could feel him relax again. See, I didn’t change anything about the circumstances around him, but I was with him. I held him. I comforted him. I cared about him. Can you guess where I’m going with this? Maybe you’re in the middle of something scary. Maybe although you’d rather be taken out of the situation… you’d settle for some comfort in the midst. The Bible tells us that the Lord himself goes before us. That he will never leave us nor forsake us. That we should not be afraid or discouraged. (Deuteronomy 31:8) That the Lord will be with us wherever we go. (Joshua 1:9) That even though we walk through the darkest valley, his rod and his staff will comfort us. (Psalm 23:4) That the Lord is a refuge for the opposed, a stronghold in times of trouble (Psalm 9:9). We are never alone if we are in Christ. We will face scary situations, but our God is stronger. He will comfort us for as long as we need him to. I believe that sometimes God sends comfort in the way of people. Maybe you’re not in the middle of a storm, and you’re able to provide comfort to a friend who is. Ask God to show you who needs comfort and don’t ignore when he does. You never know the impact you’ll make just by lending a listening ear and a caring heart.

So the next time you hear the boom of a firework that disrupts your life… reach for the comfort of your Father who loves you. He will hold you tight, whisper in your ear, and give you what and who you need to get through it. Allow yourself to feel the comfort he provides both through his word, and the friends he sends.

The LORD is my light and my salvation— whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life— of whom shall I be afraid?
Psalm 27:1

Rachel Coney Photography 

1. Chapter Sixteen: I can’t tell the truth.

I want to start by saying this part of the blog is more about what I got when reading this chapter, verses an actual book review. However, it’s a great chapter and anyone who has fostered, adopted, or thought about either should read it in my opinion. For a quick review… Rachel talks about how when she was pregnant with her third boy, they had decided they wanted to adopt a girl one day. They tried international adoption, foster to adopt, and after many struggles through both… they eventually adopted through private agency.

When reading this chapter, coincidentally called I can’t tell the truth… I started really thinking about MY truth through my desire to adopt, the reasons I haven’t blogged about it yet and the reason I sometimes think I can’t tell the truth.  In my story I feel like if I admit to wanting a daughter it somehow diminishes my love for my sons. If I open up and tell people that I want to adopt a daughter, do people think that I don’t care about boy orphans? Do they hear that I’m unhappy? Unfulfilled?  If I tell people about how my heart yearns for a relationship with a daughter…do they wonder if I would trade any of the boys I have? (Not in a million years) The main thing that struck me when reading Rachel Hollis’ adoption Chapter was how little she touched on the fact that she wanted a daughter. She confidently, and unapologetically states that when she was pregnant with her third son, they started talking about adopting a daughter. She didn’t write a paragraph about how much she loves her sons. She doesn’t try to talk the reader into believing that she appreciates what she has. She tells her story, and she moves right along. Man, why can’t I do that too? The truth is, I love my sons more than I could possibly explain. I wanted four children, regardless of gender and I believe I am called to raise Godly men. The truth also is, I want a daughter. I want bows and ballets, I want girl trips and boy talk. I want to watch my husband walk our daughter down the isle.  I don’t want to always be the mother in law. I want my daughter to call me and ask advice on how to be a mom. I want a daughter. I want to stop pretending that because I want to adopt specifically a daughter, I’m somehow not worthy to talk about adoption. I want to be able to say that I want a daughter and it not take away from the fact that I also want four sons. I want people to know that my desire for a little girl doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy raising my little boys.

For reasons I can’t explain, I’ve always felt like my daughter would come through adoption instead of from blood. Maybe it’s because I’ve been through so many boy pregnancies that I just can’t imagine birthing a daughter? I really don’t have an answer for that. I’ve just always believed she would come from another mommy’s belly. While I have never had easy pregnancies… technically  (at least we think) I can still birth other children. And maybe I will someday, but my heart says adoption and I’m believing in that possibility. In my blissful world, someone just calls us one day and tells us there’s a little girl on the way and she’s meant to be ours. In the real world, it’s proven to be a little more difficult than that. 😊 As for steps we have taken to make this desire come to life… we have emailed DHS several times with no response. After talking with people who know the system much better than we do, DHS doesn’t do straight adoptions most of the time (For infants). They want people who are willing to foster, and desire reunification. We can’t blame them for that. We have also emailed private  agencies and right now, finances are holding us back from that. (Private adoption can cost up to $40,000 ya’ll!) We have let everyone we know in the medical profession that we are interested in a little girl, should one ever become available at a hospital. Lastly,  we have prayed… and prayed… and prayed again. The bible says in Psalm 37:4 “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” So every day I pray this prayer… “God, you know my heart. You know my desire for a daughter. Would you please grant this desire OR take this desire away and show me your desire?”

… Will you pray it with me?

Rachel Coney Photography

*This post contains affiliated links.

Hello! Thanks for coming back for Part Two of what I learned when I washed my face. This is a blog post about the book “Girl, Wash Your Face” by Rachel Hollis. If you missed part one, you can view that here.

As I said before …in this book she list a lie in the chapters title and then speaks trues into that lie.

Chapter 11: Other People’s Kids Are So Much Cleaner/Better Organized/More Polite

• “If you ever happened to find your peaceful inner bliss while raising children, please don’t tell the rest of us” Page 114
• “Ironically, I think embracing chaos might be the path to finding peace.” Page 115
• “If we believe we can do enough or organize enough or plan enough to make sure that nothing is ever difficult, we will only make ourselves feel like a failure when life is too hard.” Page 117
• “And if we choose to stay underwater without kicking our way to the surface, we eventually forget how to swim.” Page 117
• “Accept any and all help you can get and consider it a gift from God.” Page 121
• Bonus: “Adjusting your view can work wonders.” Page 122

Chapter Twelve: I Need To Make Myself Smaller

• “No one person can be your source for all the answers, but you can glean a handful of powerful thoughts here and a dash of insight there.” Page 125
• “Do you really think God made you- uniquely wonderful you- in hopes you would deny your true self because it might be off-putting to others?” Page 130
• “Do you stop yourself from daring to try something new because you’re already positive you’ll fail?” Page 130
• “Do you hesitate to admit your dreams aloud because you’re nervous about others making fun of you or judging you for your choices?” Page 131
• “I believe you are not a mistake- and feeling guilt about who you are (working, staying at home, overweight, underweight, overeducated, uneducated, emotional, bookish, street-smart, or whatever) does a disservice to yourself and the Creator who made you. Page 132

Chapter Thirteen: I’m going to marry Matt Damon

• “Because I think my ability to imagine my dreams in intricate detail is one of the biggest reasons I’ve been able to achieve them.” Page 138
• “In the absence of clear direction or real vision, I just imagined one, I latched on to the idea of a future so I knew a direction to walk in.” Page 139
• “For me, daydreams were an attempt to keep my eyes above the waves.” Page 139
• “Do you have a goal for yourself? I’ll tell you again: write it down.” Page 140
• “Naming your goals is also important, because often we struggle to even admit them to ourselves.” Page 143

Chapter Fourteen: I’m a Terrible Writer

• “Someone else’s opinion of you is none of your business.” Page 146
• “You create it because you have a God Given ability to do so.” Page 147
• “You have to be willing to put it out there even if they don’t like it. Even if they hate it.” Page 147
• “Deciding that something is bad simply because other people don’t like or understand it is not a theory I can co-sign.” Page 147
• “You have to decide that you care more about creating your magic and pushing it out into the world than you do about how it will be received.” Page 148

Chapter Fifteen: I will never get past this

• “There are many types of trauma- big, small, childhood, adult- but we all belong to a club we never asked to join.” Page 153
• “I am still here because I will not let a nightmare have more power than my dreams.” Page 155
• “The path through hardship or extreme trauma is one of the most difficult things a being can encounter. But make no mistake: the only way is to fight through” Page 157
• “Talk about it” Page 158
• When speaking about her husband and the power of listening she says “He listened, and in doing so, willingly took my pain inside himself and made the load lighter to bear.”Page 158 *In light of all that’s going on in our world, I feel like this is so important. Sometimes all people need is for you to listen!

Chapter Sixteen: I can’t tell the truth

This chapter focuses on her struggles through adoption, I will write about the impact this chapter had on me in part three of my blog post. I think you’ll be surprised by my take away. 😊

Chapter Seventeen: I am defined by my weight

• “When people talk about divorce, they use words like irreconcilable or messy. But those words are too light- too easy for the destruction of a family.” Page 175
• “Food is an easy companion.” Page 178
• “Who you are today is incredible. You have so many wonderful qualities to offer the world, and they are uniquely yours.” Page 181
• “ I think we function better mentally, emotionally, and physically when we take care of our bodies with nourishment, water, and exercise.” Page 182
• “Today I believe it’s not your weight that defines you, but the care and consideration you put into your body absolutely does.” Page 182
• BONUS: Edit your media- “if there are seasons when following them doesn’t make sense. Be smart about it” Page 185 when talking about people or things that temp you on social media.

Chapter Eighteen: I need a drink

• “Need implies that something is essential, necessary.” Page 190
• “If I can’t be strong for myself, I at least want to be strong for my babies.” Page 191
• “The difficult seasons we walk through are how we learn to build up strength to manage any situation.” Page 193
• “Running, having dinner with my girlfriends, praying, going to therapy, or allowing myself to cry are the best methods I know of for building up the strength necessary to carry on.” Page 194
• “If you don’t feel strong, if as you read these lines you feel weak in your soul… I want you to ask yourself if you’re pushing to find strength or if you’re reaching for a quick fix. Strength is never easy to come by.” Page 194

Chapter Nineteen: There’s only one right way to be.

• “I didn’t know that being other was wrong, because I didn’t know that other” Page 198
• “I also know that I can’t possible love them well if I first demand that they be like me in order to receive it.” Page 199
• “We have to consider if there are areas where we stay safely inside the lines we’ve drawn or those drawn for us by our family of origin.” Page 201
• “Is it possible that the conversations we might have together, the questions we might wrestle with, the postures we’ll have to adopt in order to engage in a meaningful relationship would help us grow into better version of ourselves?” Page 201
• “We need to be in a wider community not because we’re attempting to sharpen their clarity on a subject but because we’re hoping to soften the edges of our own hearts.” Page 204

Chapter Twenty: I need a hero.

Chapter Twenty, the last chapter in the book, ends with these words…

“Stop the negative self-talk, stop abusing your body, stop putting off for tomorrow or Monday or next year. Stop crying about what happened and take control of what happens next. Getup, right now. Rise up from where you’ve been, scrub away the tears and the pain of yesterday, and start again… Girl, wash your face!” Page 213

…Can I get an Amen?

Rachel Coney Photography

** This post includes affiliated links.

** This post contains affiliated links.

I started reading “Girl, wash your face” about a month ago after my sister in law recommended it. I read it slowly and stopped to highlight anything that specifically spoke to me. I’m so glad I did! Being able to go back and see what stood out to me was really a blessing. In this three part blog, I’m going to give FIVE examples of things I’ve highlighted from each chapter. I am going to focus heavily on Chapter 16 in the third post because of the way it impacted me.

Stick with me, it’s going to be a long one 😉 In the book, she titles each chapter with a lie she has believed, and then talks about how to speak truths into that lie.

Chapter One: Something else will make me happy.

• “Certainly, there are times when storms toss you around or cover the deck with water or break the mask clean in half but that’s when you need to fight your way back, to throw all the water off the boat bucket by bucket.” Page 5
• “if you’re unhappy, that’s on you” Page 5
• “Moving or traveling or getting away? It’s just geography. Moving doesn’t change who you are. It only changes the view outside your window. You must choose to be happy, grateful and fulfilled. Page 7
• “When you’re engaged and involved and choosing to enjoy your own life, it doesn’t matter where you are, or frankly, what negative things get hurled at you. You’ll still find happiness because it’s not about where you are but who you are.” Page 8
• “You are in charge of your own life, sister, and there’s not one thing in it that you’re not allowing to be there. Page 9

Chapter Two: I’ll start tomorrow.

• “Life happens and the plan we make fall through- but when it becomes such a regular occurrence that the promises we make hold very little actual power in our lives, we need to check ourselves. Page 12
• “Our society makes plenty of room for complacency or laziness; we’re rarely surrounded by accountability. “Page 14
• “When you really want something, you’ll find a way. When you don’t really want something, you’ll find an excuse” Page 14
• “Our words have power, but our actions shape our lives” Page 17
• “Slow down your yes. Only commit to things you know you can accomplish because they’re incredibly important to you. Page 18

Chapter Three: I’m not good enough.

• “The belief that in order to be loved, I felt I needed to produce something.” Page 22
• In relation to working hard then taking one vacation she says… “Three years of sixty-hour weeks followed by one two-week break does not a decompressed girl make.” Page 26
• “Our bodies are incredible” …”they will absolutely shut down to get what they need.” Page 26
• In relation to our bodies, she says it can cause “a physical response to an emotion problem” Page 28
• “Stop obsessing over the next victory, and to apricate the simple parts of today.” Page 29

Chapter Four: I’m better than you.

• “Bringing others down wont’ elevate you.” (Page 35)
• “Our judgement prohibits us from beautiful, life-affirming friendships. Our judgement keeps us from connecting in deeper, richer ways because we’re too struck on the surface-level assumptions we’ve made.” Page 37
• “Imagine all the things you would’ve missed today if you’d only been out here for yourself” Page 39
• “The first step toward getting past the desire to judge and compete is admitting that nobody is immune.” Page 40
• “The second step is recognizing that just because you believe it doesn’t mean it’s true for everyone” Page 40
• Bonus: “Be careful about dressing your judgements up as accountability to make your conscience feel better” Page 41

Chapter Five: The lie that loving him is enough for me.

• “People will treat you with as much or as little respect as you allow them to” Page 51
• “Very few roads to love are easy to navigate” Page 52
• “If you’re not able to value yourself, no one else will” Page 53
• “Sometimes choosing to walk away, even if it means breaking your own heart, can be the greatest act of self-love you have access to.” Page 53
• “Be careful any time the only voice of advisement is your own. Your judgment is easily clouded when you’re in love.” Page 54

Chapter Six: The lie that no is the final answer.

• “No doesn’t mean that you stop; it simply means that you change course in order to make it to your destination.” Page 59
• “The only thing worse than giving up is wishing that you hadn’t” Page 67
• “Your dream is worth fighting for, and while you’re not in control of what life throws at you, you are in control of the fight.” Page 68
• “Nobody will ever care about your dream as much as you do. Ever” Page 70
• “You are worthy of wanting something more.” Page 70

Chapter Seven: Go read that one for yourself <Blushing face>

Chapter Eight: I don’t’ know how to be a mom. For this chapter, I will only bullet this one point because I think it’s so profound.

• “YOU CAN’T FAIL AT A JOB YOU WERE CREATED TO DO” Page 87 She points out here for the cynical reader (guilty) that while she knows some moms do fail, she speaking to well meaning moms who are reading her book.

Chapter Nine; I’m not a good mom.

• “I am one of the most organized people I have ever met, and even with all of my planning, I still am constantly forgetting things- or remembering them at midnight the night before they’re due” Page 92.
• “… and pretty good is way better than trying to fake perfection any day of the week” Page 93
• “You need to care, truly care that you are raising your babies to grow up to be good people” Page 95
• “Please stop allowing your fear of getting it wrong to color every beautiful thing you’re doing right.” Page 97
• “I will do my best, and I will trust that my best is exactly what God intended for these babies.” Page 98

Chapter Ten: I should be further along by now.

• “Our own negative self-talk can be more damaging than the emotional abuse heaped on us by a hateful parent.” Page 105
• “God has perfect timing” Page 106
• “When God is stretching you and growing you or maybe forging you in fires hotter than you think you can withstand- all of it is growing you for the person you’re becoming, for a future you can’t even imagine.” Page 106
• “But I have learned that along with my list of goals, I have to give myself some grace.” Page 109
• “Remember, when you keep silent, you give those lies power.” Page 111

I hope you’ve been as encouraged by these quotes as I have. If you haven’t already, go pick up a copy of “Girl, wash your face” by Rachel Hollis and start reading! I recommend highlighting things that stand out to you, so that you can look back on things later and see your improvements! Stay tuned for the second half of the book, and my special adoption blog that highlights Chapter 16 of this book!

Thanks for reading 😊

*This post includes affiliated links.

Who doesn’t love a fun nursery!? Black and white is SO in right now, and I jumped at the chance to design this modern nursery for a friend of mine!

The first thing we did was find crib bedding we liked. We found the bedding at target! There were several items that matched this bedding set. Some examples are these blankets and this rug. Amazon also has these crib sheets would work perfectly as well!

We wanted something cute, but functional to be able to hold toys. On these ikea shelves we added a mix of decorative stuff, and baskets for toys, pacifiers, blankets, etc…  We found these adorable book ends on amazon! We topped the shelves with an entrusted design sign! This is our 30″ circle sign to help you with size perspective.

When choosing a rug for a room, it’s a balance between choosing a rug that is big enough to be substantial but not so large that it overwhelms the room. We went with this crib  and just didn’t use the wheels. Another crib option is iron. While it is more expensive, it’s beautiful! Especially for a little girl! (Not that I would know what designing a little girl’s room is like 😉 )

We actually got this ikea rocking chair however, I also found this rocking chair  at target for another option. This pillow was too cute to pass up! You can put it in the crib when the baby is not in it or place it as an accent pillow in the rocker. When you want to prop your feet up a pouf ottoman is great accessory! There are several options for these! Target, Wayfair, and Ashley Furniture are good places to find these.

For the drapes we took a fun girls trip to IKEA! We love a reason for a girls trip and IKEA has very affordable but nice looking pre-made drapes! I would suggest getting as long of drapes as your room allows. The higher you can hang the rod, the taller it makes the room appear. For my own personal style I like for the drapes to “pool” at the bottom just a little bit. However, some prefer that the drapes simply “kiss” the floor.

When picking a dresser, we wanted sleek and modern. We chose black so that it would compliment the crib and stand out on the gray wall a bit more. A must have in my opinion is something personalized in a nursery! This changing pad cover from carousel designs is the perfect touch! The picture and basket about the dresser were both from Hobby Lobby, and the chandelier is from Ashley Furniture!

Lastly, with permission, I wanted to share a few pictures of the family and baby who occupy this sweet nursery! I hope you’ve enjoyed this design blog, and feel inspired to get out and design something 🙂

** All pictures taken by Rachel Coney.

Satan knows our weak spots. This probably isn’t the first time you’ve heard it, but do you really believe it?

The very first encounter of Satan in the Bible is a clear picture of this. In Genesis chapter 2 verses 15-17 we see God giving Adam clear instructions for what was allowed in the Garden. He tells him  “you may surely eat of every tree of the garden, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die”. (Vs.16-17 esv) The next few verses show God creating a helper for Adam (Eve).Thus meaning that Eve was not there for the original instructions. While I am not disputing that Eve knew the rules of the garden (because she absolutely did) i’m simply pointing out that the Bible doesn’t specifically state who told her them. This makes me wonder if that is why Satan went to Eve instead of Adam. In Chapter 3 verse 1 we see Satans first attempt to twist God’s words and place doubt. Satan ask “Did God actually say you shall not eat of any tree in the garden?” Because we know without doubt that Adam heard the words straight from Gods mouth, he was likely not Satan’s first target. We also know that God didn’t say they can’t eat from any tree, he said they can’t eat from that tree. Hear me when I say I am not trying to lessen Eve’s sin, or shift the blame of it (Eve was fully aware of the rules) I am only pointing out that perhaps Satan knew that Eve would be easier to persuade. The Bible clearly documents more encounters of God and Adam up to this point and placing doubt in Eve’s mind while having Eve place doubt in Adams was an easier plan from this crafty serpent.

If we really believe that Satan knows our weaknesses, shouldn’t we know them as well? Go on a journey of yourself. Evaluate your weak places and ask for Gods protection over them. What areas in your life will you most believe Satans lies? Where are you weak? Is it your self worth? Marriage? Parenting? Friendships? 1 Peter 5:8 says “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” Be mindful. Watch. Know where you are weak, and know that Satan can and he will attack that area. If we don’t want to allow Satan to place doubt in our minds about the truth of God’s Word, shouldn’t we know his what His Word says? Get in the Word. Study it. Know it. Ask God to reveal to you what you need.

After all, when the serpent ask us if God really said something, how will we know if we haven’t talked to Him?

You know those times when you have to tell your kids to just trust you because you know what’s best? Every momma knows what I’m talking about. When they aren’t tired and fight you on laying down, but then 3 minutes later they’re asleep? Or when they think they might die of starvation and they’re almost positive the tootsie roll will fill them up just as well as that peanut butter sandwich you just made? Or how about when you KNOW they’ll like something so you make them try it anyway, and even though they won’t admit it…you can see in their eyes that you were right? That’s how Jesus feels with us. He sees our hearts desires and he wants so badly to fulfill them. In His time. Sometimes in our flesh we think if God would just give us what we asked for everything would work out perfectly! When I’m wrestling with God about something that I want, I like to talk about it out loud. As if he was visibly right in front of me. It helps me to hear how silly I sound telling the God who created all things (including me) how things should go. That’s not to say we shouldn’t ASK God for things we desire. Just because he already know us, (and already knows what’s best) doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to hear our hearts. In Genesis Abraham (called Abram then) ask God for an heir. He wanted children and asked God why he didn’t have them.(Gen 15:2-3) And do you know what it says God thought of that? He called him righteous in the Faith. (Gen 15:6) When we turn to God for our questions and hearts desires, it shows our Faith in His answers. If you’re yearning for something that you’re not getting, just remember that you are known and loved by your Father. And just as you know what’s best for your own children, he knows what’s best for you. Rest assured my friend, he wants to fulfill your every want and need in time. We know that biblically the heart is the most deceitful(Jeremiah 17:9-10) therefore, we have to seek Him to insure that our desires match His. Lean in, Ask, Listen and Accept that you are known by your creator.

Dear Griffen-

The day I’ve dreaded since you were born has finally come and gone. Kindergarten. I always said that Jesus was coming back before you started school because he had to know I couldn’t handle sending you! Turns out I was wrong. You’re gone. And you absolutely love it. Sending you to school brought on all kinds of emotions for me. You’re gone from our breakfast and lunch table five days a week. I don’t  hear you and your brothers laughing throughout the day anymore (or fighting 😉 ) You aren’t home to ride your bike after breakfast, or catch lizards after lunch. I’m now waking you up everyday instead of you getting to wake up on your own and come cuddle me. There are almost EIGHT hours of everyday that you spend outside of our house. Another adult is in charge of your well being from 7:50-3:15! Before sending you, my mommy heart couldn’t take all of these things. A sweet friend of mine told me to pray that you’d get the teacher you needed, and meet one good friend for the year. God is so faithful! Your teacher recently wrote me an email saying how great you were doing, and how she loved your tender heart. The fact that she knows about your tender heart just one week into school made me a little more at ease. You come home everyday talking about a new friend. The excitement in your eyes when you tell us something new you learned is such a blessing to experience. Here at home, Beckett is growing as a big brother too. He’s remembering all the things you did for him, and he’s doing them for his little brothers 🙂 So as much as I didn’t want kindergarten to come, i’ll admit that so far seeing you grow, learn, and share your light with other people isn’t half bad. I’m so proud to be your mommy! I love you, buddy. Keep shining!

Love, Your Mommy

To anyone out there who is struggling with any transition, find the joy. I did a bible study by Margaret Feinberg where she encouraged us to find “joy bombs” (which i’ve linked at the bottom of this page. It’s a great bible study, especially if you’re struggling to find your joy!) No matter your situation, look for 3 joy bombs throughout your day. For Griffen’s first day of kindergarten my joy bombs were a smooth drop off with no tears, seeing Beckett step up as a big brother, and 3:15 when I got to pick my baby boy up and hear about his day! We can always find joy if we aren’t looking for misery 🙂 Seeing how much Griffen loves kindergarten brings me joy more than anything else.

Train up a child in the way the he should go: and when he gets old, he will not depart from it.  Proverbs 22:6 KJV